All folks out there who are parents and licenced

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by pk_powell, Sep 10, 2007.

  1. pk_powell

    pk_powell New Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    State:
    Missouri
    or state certifyed to be public school teachers. I have a question! What on earth do you do with a 15 y/o who despises school and calls home practically every day in tears wanting to come home because she is sick. We know she isn't and we have refused to come get her. Well since school is in walking distance to and from our home that doesn't work.She has vomited all over the school nurse's desk plus the school secretary's desk,so of course they send her home.The second she walks in I take one look and I can tell she isn't sick. The schoon,Nurse was so angry with her the other day and she didn't mince words. She told me she was not going through another year with her like she did last year,she further went on to call her a Liar and she was sick of her coming to her office all the time. We have her in Councling she goes and see's a phyciatrist due to her being Bipolar but stable,plus she has an in home social worker that visits her. Her Social Worker says she can make arrangements to have her temp taken every hour on the hour and also have someone follow her to the facilities to see if she really is relieving herself.Actually follow her right into the stall. Now I hear that and I think to myself How Degrading!!! I honestly don't know what to do with her.To be honest I'm spilling my guts here about private family matters and I normally don't do that! I reckon I'm the type of person that if someone else is havin troubles I'm all ears and I want to help in any way I can, but I don't want to burden others with my problems. I just need advise here,cause this is my kid, and I love her to death,I want whats best for her,yes I get angry cause I see she is doing the wrong thing but she see's it as just bein mean to her and refusing to listen.I don't know anymore,but I do know the more she misses the more her grades are gonna slide down hill and there won't be any making it up. We even got her in Special Education and she makes such good grades with their help.When I do tell her to talk to me she won't.I don't believe for a second that she would tell Dad and I if something weird or bad was goin on at school,because teens are afraid of their parents reaction. So I just don't know what to do anymore. If anyone has any suggestions I'm all ears. It's breakin my heart folks like I said she's my kid!!:cry::cry:Sister Pat
     
  2. CatFishingFinatic

    CatFishingFinatic New Member

    Messages:
    198
    State:
    Iowa
    HI Pat, I have words just not sure how to put them into perspective. When my kids were younger I had similure problems with my boys not wanting to go to school, calling home sick, skipping, what ever they could do to get out of going to school. I tried so many different things and to this day wished I had tried to be even stricter than I was, because all 3 of my boys ended up quiting school. They regret it now, but then they knew everything. 1 of them did go back and get his GED and has even taken some college classes. And plans to further his education.

    My youngest boy, we bent over backwards to try to get him interested in school but seemed to lose interest in no matter what we did very quickly, from playing an instrument in band to playing football. Iowa has open enrollment so I even transfered schools because he didn't like the teachers or principal in the other school, but nothing seemed to work. Many times I had to physically put him on the bus, threaten to sit in class with him all day long, was just endless. I wish you the best of luck and if anything I had actually done with my boys had worked and they had gone on to better their education I would surely advise you. But when you get a head strong teenager they know it all and can only go on in life to learn by their mistakes. I suppose us as parents can only teach and express how important an education is in todays world but in the end it is up to the kids how they continue with their lives. Live and learn by their mistakes. Good luck to you, I hope she can realize just how important an education is today.
     

  3. Kat-tamer

    Kat-tamer New Member

    Messages:
    875
    State:
    Missouri
    I am in no way qualified to help, but I do have a couple of things you might want to look into.
    Here we have an alternative school. It is specifically for students that will not, or can not graduate from regular schools. My understanding of this is that different schools have different qualifications for getting into one. The kids here are tested to see what grade level they would be in and then depending on that, they tell them how many hours a week they have to be there. It works for some, not for others. might be worth lookin into.

    The other is home schooling. Don't know much about that at all, but I know it is an option in Missouri.

    Good luck and keep us posted on how you guys are doin.
     
  4. willcat

    willcat New Member

    Messages:
    2,463
    State:
    texas
    we went through the same thing ironically my step son was fifteen also, skipping, faking sick, and even making himself sick. Well i don't know if this would help any, but we found out that through his friends some body older was picking on him because even then he was 6ft 1in and they saw him as big as they were & found it necessary to pick on him because he was so big!! We had one of his uncles and aunts come by and talk to him and seemed to get more out of him when we were'nt around. Maybe try that, kids can be real mean at that age especially in high school, she might open up to somenone in the family that is close to her!!! Good luck....
     
  5. CatFishingFinatic

    CatFishingFinatic New Member

    Messages:
    198
    State:
    Iowa
    These are both good ideas and for some kids they work and for some they don't. My neice went to an alternative school and graduated on time worked great for her. I tried it with 2 of my boys and it didn't work, no matter how much I reminded them, I even took him to classes and joined a gym so I had something to do while he was in class, after about 3 weeks of going he was no longer interested and when it came time to go to class he was no where to be found. I then tried home schooling but that didn't work either, But I was also a working Mom, so giving them the assignments and leaving them to work on them on their own didn't really go over to well. I got to the point that I was just down our worn out with work, being a mother, wife, and the whip and chain. Home school is a tough thing. I wouldn't recommend it. but it does work for some people. I have heard some people talk about how well it worked for them. My sister tried it and it only lasted for about 6 weeks and she put her girls back in school. Kids and pushing their education is a tough one.
     
  6. CatFishingFinatic

    CatFishingFinatic New Member

    Messages:
    198
    State:
    Iowa
    Pat, have you maybe checked into a christian school? They are smaller schools, with less temptation. The teachers have more time for one on one education and maybe your daughter works better with help? Also, the post about a family member talking to her that she might confide in rather than Mom and Dad might be big help as well. I am sure she has some kind of reason she doesn't want to be in school, that she might be embarressed to talk to you about, enough of a reason it makes her sick. Good luck.
     
  7. FS Driver

    FS Driver New Member

    Messages:
    2,323
    State:
    swansea,illinoi


    good idea but whatever you do DONT EVEN DISCLOSE WHO AND OR HOW YOU FOUND OUT ANYTHING !!!! they may never open up to that person again !! been there done that.
    GOOD LUCK PAT !!!!

    sometimes girls are more vicious than boys in school .
    she may be trying to avoid conflicts with a certain individual or clic
     
  8. pk_powell

    pk_powell New Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    State:
    Missouri
    I have come to believe that we must all truly love each other on this web site. 6 of you have willingly answered my post and 2 of you have PM'd me. I appreciate all your kind words. Someone on here thanked me for being gutsy enough to spill my guts they knew it was tough for me to do. They were correct in that statement but I know in my heart that I can reach out to ya all if I need to,and I needed to tonight. There is something wrong, Dad and I don't know what it is,she did however tell a neighbor who she adores and this neighbor lady adores her that she despises,hates school with a vivid passion.Wants nothing to do with it. Her Social Worker pinned her down when she found that out and my daughter was telling her things that SW said just didn't add up,like which class do you start feeling this way daughter couldn't remember the name of first hour.That in itself doesn't register. I mean if you hate something you're not gonna forget what it's called. I know this is makin us CRAZY!! I called the Priniciple and explained to him that her parents most definitely didn't approve of her actions.We also told her flatly that if she couldn't go to school under no circumstances would she be allowed to go to her job at McDonalds,which she dearly loves to do.Also if worse come to worse and she does quit at 16 she will not be allowed to sit on her bottom,she will imediately enroll in GED Classes and get her diploma that way. No one worth their salt is going to hire her without her HS Diploma,and that's just a fact of life. I have told her all her life that I want her to go to College or Trade School cause without it all she can do is flip burgers for a living and she needs to want more for herself than that. Thanks Family,someone ask me to keep ya all posted and I plan too.Thanks also for allowing me to vent.It feels good to know I can come on here and do that! Reps to all of ya's~~~~~~~~~~Sister Pat:big_smile::wink:
     
  9. peewee williams

    peewee williams New Member

    Messages:
    3,111
    State:
    Pembroke,Georgia
    I wish I had the answer as it would surly be yours.I love you sweetheart.I love you Brothers and Sisters.peewee
     
  10. pk_powell

    pk_powell New Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    State:
    Missouri
    You are the man on here whom we should all in my opinion sit at your feet learn and listen to you for you have much wisdom for all of us.You are a wonderful BOC member and Brother. I personally love you very much!~~~~~~~~~Sister Pat:big_smile:
     
  11. Dano

    Dano New Member

    Messages:
    13,712
    State:
    Texas
    Who said it doesn't take a village.

    I wish the best of luck to you that it all works out..
     
  12. ryang

    ryang Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,328
    State:
    Blacklick, Ohio
    Name:
    Gary
    Might be a little harsh but take her Downtown to see all of the bums and non-graduates and point them out. "See whats ahead of you" if you dont graduate.
     
  13. ryang

    ryang Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,328
    State:
    Blacklick, Ohio
    Name:
    Gary
    Let me add to my last post I know that not all bums and street walkers are not all bad but it is an easy way to point out that they can do something with thier life that makes a difference and not suck up the welfare. Some are just bad times but to me it makes no difference pull your bootstraps up and get to doing something worthwhile for yourself.
     
  14. FS Driver

    FS Driver New Member

    Messages:
    2,323
    State:
    swansea,illinoi
  15. pk_powell

    pk_powell New Member

    Messages:
    3,485
    State:
    Missouri
    Now whatever is wrong has turned physical in that we took her to the doctor to a scheduled appointment and she almost landed in the hospital. They couldn't hardly draw any blood said it was because she is real dehydrated. She said the Nurse made her promise her that she would start gettting more fluids in her body.In fact,the only thing that kept her from going in is they were jam packed with sick kids and didn't have a spare room.Doctor thought she might have Pancreatitus like her little sister had and finally got over but her blood work came back normal.Doctor said she has went from minor acid reflux to major acid reflux disease.Wants to put her on the purple pill called Nexium but as of now Insurance is fighting us on that medicine. This is the last step before surgery which would be a stomach wrap.This causes rapid weight loss,and Jackie our oldest well she's not a large kid.Rather she's about average. Something is going on at school, I don't know what it is,we have talked and so far all I can get out of her is she hates life and school. She absolutely wants nothing to do with school period. Our neighbor lady who is wonderful with our kids is also deeply concerned and she said she would talk with Jackie and see if Jackie would tell her anything,cause lets face facts she can't keep missing school. She has to miss today because of her stomach she was up in the middle of the night with it.I don't know. I begged her with tears streaming down my face last night to talk to me but she won't. I have no clue at all period. I do have her in councling I guess the best I can hope for is if nothing else this councler will gain her trust and she will be able to find out what is wrong.As you already know MMR called me last night and he could her her screaming in pain last night. I know it worried him to death cause he knows us personally. He said"I can talk to you at a later time ,he said you take care of that girl and strive to get her stomach settled down." I said that was what I was trying to do. I was placing a heat pack on her stomach,when he called. so that's what's going on and why I'm not on here very much right now. I have to get this figured out someway. Thanks for caring guys and for sending your support it means alot to know I'm surrounded by a large group of people who deeply care about each other. Until next time God Bless each and every one of you. You're all good folks in my book!! Sister Pat:sad2: