Adopted at Birth

Discussion in 'General Conversation' started by flathunter, May 8, 2006.

  1. flathunter

    flathunter New Member

    Messages:
    5,723
    State:
    Ohio
    I found out several years ago I was adopted at Birth....Somehow I always had this feeling of not belonging, that something was different about me..Anyways I was raised by A loving mother and father, my mom passed away 10 years ago, but my father is still alive..They never told me I was adopted, an aunt told me...I have not searched for my birth parents " they live close to me" in fear my dad who raised me would find out and be hurt...But I have this need to find out who I came from, I was also told I have 7 brothers and sisters, I was raised an only child by my adopted parents.
    Somehow I feel I am to old now to pursue it, and just let it go...But another part of me wants to see the people who I am related to...Any suggetions?
     
  2. H2O Mellon

    H2O Mellon New Member

    Messages:
    3,012
    State:
    Ohio
    Without saying too much or giving too much detail, I, if I were you would be affraid that it would hurt my "dad" if I were to try & locate my "real parents". To me in this situation your dad, the adoptive one IS your REAL DAD, know what I mean? Anyone can conceive a child, but it takes a real man or woman to care for it, ESPICALLY if the biological ties are not there. In my own opinon it takes much more to be an adoptive parent than a "natural parent", but that's just me.

    On the other hand, if you say something is "missing" you have to search for it or you'll drive yourself nuts.
     

  3. H2O Mellon

    H2O Mellon New Member

    Messages:
    3,012
    State:
    Ohio
    Forgot to mention this: Your natural parents have known all along, from day one the story, have they made an attempt that you know of to contact you? Maybe they don't want any part of the situation, then maybe they do, who knows, but it would maybe help to know if they have ever tried to contact you. Do they even know that you know the truth?
     
  4. flathunter

    flathunter New Member

    Messages:
    5,723
    State:
    Ohio
    I always new something was wrong form a very young age..I was not treated the same as other kids in the family, especially by my grandparents..I remember many christmas get to gethers, that all the grandkids were given gifts by the granparents, and I was always left out...It got so bad that me adopted parents stoped going to family functions because of this..I was around 10 years old a the time, and I was sure even then that I was adopted, but just did not want to say anything to upset my parents.
     
  5. flathunter

    flathunter New Member

    Messages:
    5,723
    State:
    Ohio
    I dont know the answer to that one Bryan, But the Aunt who told me said my biological mother would always come to my school and watch me play during recess, I never new she was there of course.
     
  6. H2O Mellon

    H2O Mellon New Member

    Messages:
    3,012
    State:
    Ohio
    Hmm.... Man that might be a sign that she would welcome the invite. So I take it your aunt knows or knew your birth mom?
     
  7. flathunter

    flathunter New Member

    Messages:
    5,723
    State:
    Ohio
    Heres another problem I have come across..Idont have a birth cirtifcate...I tried to get my original one, but the county health department told me since I was adopted I could never see the original certificate of Birth.
     
  8. dinkbuster1

    dinkbuster1 New Member

    Messages:
    2,272
    State:
    Ohio
    i would most definately try to find them. my "real dad" was my great grandfather, but later in life i met my biological father and the other side of the family. he and my mom split up when i was almost a year old and met him for the first time when i was 8yrs old. we see each other about once a year now. he never will replace my "real dad" but he is my bio-father so we keep in touch. i used to feel the same way, like i was in the wrong family or something. my bio-dad and i are so much alike it isnt funny, seems like everytime i visit i learn of more weird "habits" we share. LOOK FOR THEM! it might just fill a void in your life!
     
  9. H2O Mellon

    H2O Mellon New Member

    Messages:
    3,012
    State:
    Ohio
    Jack I am begining to wonder about the politics in Ross County. :0a28: I think that you are allowed a birth certificate in any case, now here is where it get's tricky, if your adopted parents wanted to & would have paid for it, a new birth certificate could have been made with your new last name on it. This "new" birth certificate is the actual Legal Birth Certificate now. For all legal & practucal purposes there is no other certificate. I can explain that to you later if you want me to.
     
  10. kybunniebuster

    kybunniebuster New Member

    Messages:
    82
    State:
    winchester kentucky
    you have read what i have been going thru and i will tell you from a parents point of view if you dont go and see for your self you wont ever get over it they are alot of reasons to why someone would not raise there own children from money being to short to care for the child the way they need to be cared for all the way to being young and doing somthing they was told to do by there own parents because they didnt want to hafta raise the kid that there son or daughter had i know i would give anything in life to be able to go back 16 years and make some changes myself as to how i handled my childs life i have missed out on alot of things that i will never get to see but im gonna try my best to make the right moves from here on out just wanna wish you luck with your decision
     
  11. Fatkat

    Fatkat New Member

    Messages:
    979
    State:
    Blanchester, Ohio
    I guess if you did look into it the down side could be finding out your related to Mellon. :crazy:
     
  12. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,010
    State:
    TN

    Martin,

    That was poking him with a stick, as Swampy would say. LOL. Tickled my funny bone, don't know about Jack's.

    Jack,
    Have you had a heart to heart with your adoptive, real Father? That is where to begin, IMO. Since you have that worry, start there and see where it leads you.

    May God lead you down the road you seek and hold your hand as you travel there.
     
  13. duxsrus

    duxsrus New Member

    Messages:
    1,014
    State:
    SW Ohio
    I was adopted at birth too Jack. Only I was so young when they told me, I don't even remember being told. However, my parents were given a birth certificate by the state, that has them listed as the parents.

    I've never really had the desire to have one of these big hyped up reunions before. But when my wife was pregnant, it kind of motivated me to find out my biological mom because I wanted to know my real health genetics.

    I went to the agency that the transaction went through so everything was real formal. I was told my biological mom was extremely apprehensive upon receiving notice that I was trying to establish contact. She took months to "decide" if she even wanted to communicate with me and the agency wanted me to send short letters to them to be forwarded on to her. Blah blah blah I said "have her fill out a comprehensive medical survey and get over it". So when I finally received that back, I cut her off. So to speak. Didn't sound like it would have been one of those "made for tv" reunions anyhow. And I was totally cool with it.

    Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.
     
  14. H2O Mellon

    H2O Mellon New Member

    Messages:
    3,012
    State:
    Ohio
    Thats what I would be affraid of, to be is the birth parent(s) wasnt 100% thrilled about the possibility, I'd say go stuck your finger in a pile of poo poo!
     
  15. DeerHunter01

    DeerHunter01 New Member

    Messages:
    2,113
    State:
    Kentucky
    Jack,

    Make contact with me, I was adopted too, and I found my real mother about 7 years ago now. I will not get into it here on the BOC but I been down the same road your talking about going. I would be glad to talk to you about this.
     
  16. SilverCross

    SilverCross New Member

    Messages:
    1,562
    State:
    Fairbury, Illin
    Hey Jack, go find all your brothers and sisters, it will either be good or bad. The parents that raised you will always be your mom and dad, but youir half brothers and sisters would probably welcome you. I have one sister but know two families that one has 19 and one has 20 kids. They are all really close to each other. I would take a chance, but you have to do what you feel.
     
  17. Deltalover

    Deltalover New Member

    Messages:
    1,227
    State:
    Tracy Calif
    I too, was adopted at birth! It was actually pre arranged, but all I know is that I have a brother and sister! I found out when I was in my early 20's. but always supected. However, I could have not asked for better parents to raise me and in my heart, they will always be mom and dad. I guess I am curious, but my mom passed away and dad has alzhimers. I remember having to have a birth certificate made at one time!
     
  18. MRR

    MRR New Member

    Messages:
    4,947
    State:
    Louisiana,Mo.
    jack Please Go And Try And Find Your Blood Parents. I Too Was Adopted .but I Was 4 Years Old.i Was Very Lucky.they Never Did Try And Keep It From Me. I Knew I Was Adopted , But Never Saw Any Of My Sisters Or Brother Till I Was 16. So Go With Your Gut Feeling And Do What You Feel Is Right. Now That Your Of Age Maybe Just Maybe On A Long Shot Your Adopted Dad Will Help You Out In This Quest. What Ever You Deciede To Do I'll Be Praying For You That It All Worksout Ok. Best Of Luck And Don't Give Up On Your Dream.
     
  19. screen

    screen New Member

    Messages:
    581
    State:
    Sterling, Illinois
    Best of luck on your journey! Talk to that aunt too for she may be able to act as the third party in this matter! It was too bad about your granparents but they made their bed and you had parents who loved you very much!
    We have a step grandaughter and I could never think of showing less love for her than my blood grandaughter! They are both Gods children and we are so lucky to have them!
    Remember you have many brothers and sisters here in the BOC who love you for who you are! If you havn't, call DH, it will do you good!
    Good luck,
     
  20. kspor

    kspor New Member

    Messages:
    716
    State:
    Wichita Kansas
    My cousin has a very similiar story. Open communication with adoptive parents is the key. Perhaps the only reason they didnt tell you was the fear that you would be more hurt knowing.

    My cousin has met his real parents and some siblings. Hasnt really changed much, but got the answers he wanted.

    Perhaps your parents promised never to tell and kept/keep their word till the grave. If this is true the burden relieved may be a larger benefit to your dad. Imagine keeping a secret all of your life from someone you love so much.

    jmo