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I got to thinking and thought this would be kinda fun list some of your folks quirky sayings I will start
If wishes were horses us beggers could ride
Soon to as eat bugs don't like bugs neither
Now you add some of yours
 

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An old neighbor of mine, whose not all there looked at me once and said "If Cats had wings, we'd all be in trouble"
It was funny at the time since we were sitting outside the apartment building and there were about 10-12 kitty cats there. I still laugh at that every time I think about that. You'd just have to know him for it to be funny...:wink::smile2:
 

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Or busy as a one legged man in an _ _ _ kickin' contest

My guys at work used to say "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" till I countered with the Japanese version - "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down":smile2:
 

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SLICKER THAN SNOT ON A BRASS DOOR KNOB! J.D.:wink:
 

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Dad used to say he'd "rather be in Hell with his back broke" than be somewhere he didn't like :smile2:

And I never did figure out how Hogan's goat got so screwed up or how somebody got to be "more screwed up than Hogan's goat"
 

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Around here we have a few little towns that are high dollar and all kind of stuck up people live there
A guy once told me that if Buttholes were airplanes granville would be an airport!
I shot coffee out my left nostril LOL
 

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Heres one we usually say when someone starts singing that can't,

" boy I always used to wish I could sing but now I wish you could:smile2:"

Heres another one we say when one of our buddies says he has a head ache,

" If I had a head like that and it didn't hurt I'd see a doctor:smile2:.
 

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one of my favorites was from larry the cable guy, madder than a 1 legged woman working at the ihop :wink: or the other reply to the headache one, if my head looked like yours it would ache too lol
 

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In my first job as a teenager, my boss used to tell me to do something & add on at the end...."Hurry up now & take yer time" (Must be the Irish accent)

Upon talking to a woman in her 50's trying to chat him up, (he in his 20's), a friend of mine said "It's the first time in my life I've ever seen MUTTON dressed as MUTTON!!"

"Never trouble TROUBLE until TROUBLE troubles YOU!!"

"If brains was a disease, he'd be the healthiest guy in town!!"
 
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