Michigan DNR Idiot Reports

[sal_jr]

Best place in the world to come for a laugh at the dummies of our fine state!!!!
The link here will take you to an interesting part of the DNR site.

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This part is where they report what goofy and dumb things they stop from happening in our state, goofy and dumb things they catch people doing, and the goofy and dumb things they investigate and prove about our fellow michigan folk.

NOTE- They add filler and take dramatic license here and I CAN prove it. FACT: I was NOT issued a ticket on one weekend in 2003 and my buddy was.
Somehow although all the other facts add up, in the process that was reported online, "two people were issued a total of 4 tickets" when in actuality only "person number one" got one $50.00 ticket for camping in a reserve (still cheaper than renting a riverside motel on 4th of july weekend in Grand Haven) and person "number two" just got a severely swollen and sprained ankle, a horrible hangover-induced headache, a sunburn, and harassed all to heck for being a rude grump at the time that they were stopped by the DNR- a claim I... I mean "he" never denied.

The part that annoys me is that the website said that "those guys" got a ticket for littering too. I would have rather they lied and said they found drugs or stolen merchandise on me than accuse me (even anonymously as they report it) of littering. That's my #1 pet peeve is watching jerks toss their crap all over!!! Oh well.

It is still fun to look at though... here's the link.

http://www.michigandnr.com/law/ReportYea rSelect.asp

Sal

[sal_jr]

my personal favorite so far [From the week of 8-3-2003]:

CO Mike Borkovich awoke at 3:00 a.m. to a vehicle (with a loud stereo) parked in his driveway. CO Borkovich observed a female urinating in his yard and a male drinking beer inside a jeep. The people were surprised when the garage door opened and a patrol truck with its emergency lights activated came out. The vehicle attempted to leave but was stopped by CO Borkovich. The driver was arrested and lodged for Operating Under the Influence of Liquor (OUIL). The driver asked CO Borkovich what the odds of stopping in an officer's driveway were.


ROTLMAO- What morons!?!?!

Sal

[sal_jr]

I'm tellin ya... you cant make up comedy like this!!!! [from week 12-7-03]

CO Steve Burton reports that an individual he arrested in deer season for hunting while intoxicated appeared for arraignment intoxicated. His blood alcohol level was 0.209. The judge lodged him until he could appear sober.

That's fantastic. Ahh.... my home state.

[sal_jr]

[1-18-04]

CO Bob Torres was called to a local hospital to investigate a hunting accident. A rabbit hunter set his firearm on the ground to retrieve a rabbit from a dog, and apparently another dog stepped on his firearm discharging it into the hunter's foot.

Whose got the shock collar now Beeeyotch?

ROTLMAO

[sal_jr]

1-18-04]

CO Tom Wanless, while enroute to his residence, stopped to assist a broken down snowmobiler on the side of the road. As CO Wanless attempted to flag down some other snowmobiles on the road, the operator of one of these machines accelerated and drove right by, narrowly missing the officer and proceeded down the road where he turned a corner. CO Wanless hopped into his patrol vehicle with intentions of trying to stop the snowmobile. When he rounded the corner, he found his subject, who had just crashed into a very sturdy mailbox. (The subject thought it was a stop sign.) The subject's first comments to the officer were to ask him not to arrest him for drunk driving again. The subject was highly intoxicated, had done prison time in the past for alcohol related driving offenses. He was arrested one more time.

[sal_jr]

[1-25-04]
(I'm in tears here after this one)
COs Cherie Beckhorn, Chris Holmes, Dan Bigger, and Sgt. Sherry Chandler participated in an ORV group patrol on lakes in the Waterloo Recreation Area. During the patrol, COs Holmes and Bigger discovered two out-of-season bass when an angler was showing CO Holmes his new underwater video camera. The subject's fishing buddy was disposing of the bass down the hole at the same time. The action was very clear on the camera. COs Holmes and Bigger watched the dead bass slowly drift to the bottom of the lake.


I wish I was there to see that one.

[sal_jr]

[2-8-04]

While patrolling St. Clair County, CO John Borkovich encountered two subjects road hunting. CO Borkovich reported that the subject had shot at animals on private property and had killed a rabbit and a brown chicken, which the suspects believed to be a grouse. CO Borkovich issued the subjects tickets for transporting a loaded and uncased firearm in a motor vehicle, as well as recreational trespassing.



Here's your sign.

[sal_jr]

[2-15-04]

Sgt. Greg Drogowski found two subjects walking out of a conifer swamp with an AK-47 and SKS rifles, both with 30 round magazines. Neither subject had hunting licenses or any orange clothing on. Subjects claimed to be target shooting, but eventually admitted they were also "looking for rabbits". Subjects were issued tickets.


Have I been underestimating the "underground rabbit insurgency" or is an AK and an SKS with 30 round clips a bit of overkill for a 3lb varmint?

[sal_jr]

[2-15-04]

CO Mark Ennett encountered a subject who was in the process of unloading an ORV with an expired license. CO Ennett advised the subject that the machine could not be operated until current licensing was acquired. The subject thanked CO Ennett for his concern and proceeded to unload his ORV and drive it out onto the ice, where he began to fish. CO Ennett again made contact with the subject who stated, "Well, I didn't think you'd come out after me." A ticket was issued for operating an unlicensed ORV.


Your sign, sir.

Also from the same page:

CO Kris Kiel encountered a subject approximately a half-mile off shore fishing with four tip-ups and one fishing pole. CO Kiel asked the fisherman if he knew that he could only legally fish with two lines. The fisherman advised CO Kiel that he knew he could only fish with two lines, but didn't think anybody would come this far out to check him. CO Kiel issued the fisherman a ticket for fishing with too many lines.


IDJIT!

[sal_jr]

SERVES THE JERK RIGHT:

3-7-04

As CO Julia Grabowski approached and checked an angler fishing with three lines, he cut a line. Knowing the subject, CO Grabowski came back later and observed the subject again fishing with three lines for over an hour. When she approached a second time the subject went to dump his cheap rig in the hole and dumped his car keys in the hole as well. CO Grabowski attempted to grab the keys with a magnet that she had but as the subject admitted that he was fishing with too many lines, he also stated that his key ring was aluminum. CO Grabowski gave a verbal warning for fishing with too many lines and left the subject to find a ride home.