Hey! Any you guys got an unused Claymore mine.................

**BIG GEORGE** · 03-24-2012, 06:36 PM

This is gonna be a "DOOZY" LMAO!

**Netmanjack** · 03-24-2012, 06:45 PM

Wait! Wait! Golly Gee man` Belay the C-4 It's got to be a woman getting ready to give you a sweet surprise, think about. What man could get past your Dogs? answer; none. It couldn't be someone from here cause we all know there is only two catfishermen that can chew gum and walk at the same time, and I'm here and your there! Gotta be a home town chick.......she probably wants you to post pornographic pics.............If you are smart you will have some breath mints handy! Good luck son..

**poisonpits** · 03-24-2012, 07:09 PM

mr.beatle.
i wrote out a whole page of directions on how to build a home made claymore using flash bulbs and black powder but got to thinking big brother,or some snitch,would be looking so i deleted it.call me on a secure land line and ill give ya the skinny.as always your friend in crime pits.

**boswifedeb** · 03-24-2012, 07:56 PM

Sounds like JD Straka to me - wanting to come take a peek at Maude. LOL!

**postbeetle** · 03-25-2012, 10:11 AM

Netman, I liked than chewing gum part. What you chewing on nowadays since you single again?

Deb, this guy was much better looking than Straka!

Johnnie, I might have ya send that recipe for Personnel Body Shredders to a secret PO Box I got. Can I use one those new spirally lightbulbs?

Mette, I'm saving my Double ought (00) buck for the end of the world in Dec. I figure it will make a good Christmas present for somebody trying to break into my house..........

Well down to the nitty-gritty here. I got the SUCKER last night. It was a chore and became very dangerous before it was over. That SOB tried to get me unawares. I pretended I was asleep at the kitchen counter, smoked oysters scattered about the place (MarkJ how you think I gonna get fresh oysters here in Iowa? The only fresh oysters available here are turkey and pork oysters, and they are sooooooo fattening). I had my expensive daguerreotype machine set to full auto with 2 extra clips and I heard him approach stealthily onto my porch. Wham, quick as Superman I was on him, blinding him with my daguerreotype flashing like a mushrooming sunspot. I grabbed him before he could disappear. It was like a bar fight with out a bar. We rolled around on the porch, off the porch into the spireas and hosta, crushed a bunch of blooming daffodils. I finally got him in a reverse toe-hold and he started screaming

"Uncle! ANO! Uncle! ANO!" "A.N.O." I says, "I ain't got a-hold of your ANO, I got your big toe" "Noooo!" he says. "I gives, UNCLE and my name ish ANO" I relaxed, ya can always trust somebody who says UNCLE, especially if they bleeding.

I'll visit with ya about our conversation down the road, meanwhile take a look at this guy. Ignore the snake in his mouth and see if Ya can figure out who it is. I think it's Dano, sure can't be straka, MarkJ uglier than this guy and he smells better than Fubar. Doesn't have a big belly like Ostrom or 90% of the guys on this forum. Could be a female, maybe a female impersonater, there some those around here. Could be an entirely unknown personality newly joined who was impressed with the format of this forum (little does he know how it gets screwed up every coupla days depending on what Ladderbacks been smoking, and it ain't from smoked oysters at 3:00 AM)

I got the good side of him taken, couldn't miss with my automatic chugging in a spray pattern. Always spray from right to left, controlled. Release, unless you scared to death and take 2-3-4 rounds at a time

"Come in the house ANO we gotta talk" I says and help me finish those smoked oysters.

**boswifedeb** · 03-25-2012, 10:23 AM

Doc, I believe you've been smoking some of Mr. Mac B's stash of freezer-burnt broccoli. Be careful with that stuff!!

**BIG GEORGE** · 03-25-2012, 10:28 AM

Seeins how the little runt only comes up to the second pane of glass above the door knob, I'm sayin its you. Your acompliss is in the house takein the pics. LOL!

Please keep this goin! I'm diggin the costumes! LOL!

**Dano** · 03-25-2012, 10:38 AM

Did it look something like this guy? Wish I could train them to bring my mail to me.
I still have the tamale recipe if ‘in you catch the thing.

Raccoon-07.jpg

BTW. I aint never seen a Claymore mine in person. Will they work for fishing?
heck from the pic's of them, it dont look like you can even pull a boat with one.